Preparations

The last month there has been pretty much one thing going round and round in my head... chinachinachinachinachina. Every time I tell someone what I'm going to be doing, without exception I always get one of the following three responses which I respond to in the following way (either out loud or in my head while I smile politely)...

1. "You must be crazy" - yes, yes I must. But what I think is crazier is giving up an opportunity like this to waste my youth doing the exact same things day-in, day-out, that I will still be doing in my 30's, 40's and beyond. There's all the time in the world to get a job, have children, settle down with someone. Why would I want to do that now? That's what I think is crazy.

2. "You must be SO excited" - OK, I'll admit the thing that people off on the adventure of their lifetimes should never, ever admit, especially when they've just paid a lot of money to be doing it. Right now, I'm not excited at all. I'm petrified, stressed, and most of all sad about what I'm leaving behind. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret my decision for a minute. But, excited isn't at the top of my list of emotions at this particular moment when all I can think about is the fact this time in two weeks I'll be on the other side of the world with no-one who knows anything about me.

3. "You're so brave" - I only have one thing to say to that.... fake it til you make it. I've never felt less brave in my life, but I'm not going to let that stop me!


I have just over a week left until I leave, which I will be spending with my lovely boyfriend who is the most ridiculously supportive person I have ever met in my life. I couldn't have done any of this or had the balls to do this without him! I'm not sure how he has the patience to put up with me and my crazy ideas, but I'm so grateful he does and I can't wait to come out the other side knowing he's going to be waiting for me.  Pessimists say what you will (and a lot of them already have in very blunt words to me), but I believe if you want to make something work then you can. And I guess this will really test the true meaning of 'long distance relationship'... Thank god for Skype!

But for now, time for me to carry on with packing and realizing how much useless crap I own. 

Scary decisions and recent progressions...

In light of my search for excitement in my graduate life, I have confirmed my decision to embark on a TEFL mission this year! In a whirlwind few months which has involved choosing my course and researching like mad, I've narrowed it down to teaching in China with an organization that essentially makes all the other choices for me (where I will be placed, what age group I will be teaching)... which is great for an indecisive like me, but also absolutely terrifying not knowing where/who I will be teaching in just a few months time. Yeah, that's the other thing... I leave in ONE MONTH TODAY. One month to pack up my life for 5 months on the other side of the world when I have no idea where I will be 2 months from now.

Scary as it all is (I'm not for a second downplaying the fear I'm feeling right now), I'm absolutely buzzing with excitement right now! I'm so proud of myself for getting that twinge of 'what if...' and actually acting upon it. I loved the sound of this placement and am thrilled to bits that for me it will be a reality.

And with that, I'll leave a few of my 'new years resolutions' (although I hate hate hate the whole concept of resolutions only being applicable from the 1st of every new year.... should really be a more monthly review kinda thing)....

1. WRITE MORE. I promise this blog will actually start to be filled with interesting stories, thoughts, etc... probably a lot of 'OH MY GOD I'M IN CHINA AND I'M SCARED' or 'I just ate dog brain... and liked it?' kind of posts coming up.

2. READ MORE. If only on the 12 hour (yup, ouch) plane journey each way.... I will read more things. Probably for the best when I'm in a country where no-one speaks the language I do and books are my only friends *sigh*

3. DO MORE. The upcoming year is definitely going to be different from the past 21 that I've been alive, but I've never been so excited. I hate the thought of getting to 80 and being able to list off a million things I wish I'd done but never did. Within reason, if you want to do it, why the hell not?

Maybe a few more posts before I leave to document the last month of enjoying England, maybe I'll be too madly busy. In brief, my plan is to eat all the food I love, see all the people I love, and watch all the crappy TV I love - all of which I'm inevitably gonna miss like mad in China! So, if you need me, I'll be eating fish & chips with a cup of PG Tips in front of Eastenders with my pals ;)

x

I need a little bit more excitement in my life, before I end up in my 30's with a long bucket list of things I never got the chance to do in my 20's.

“It is a truth universally acknowledged that when one part of your life starts going okay, another falls spectacularly to pieces”

 

Yay

Yay

That is all for now.

My Gap Yah

I guess it's fair to say I'm on a kind of gap yah at the moment. Despite internships/work experience, I plan on postponing full time work in a career I aspire to pursue until next summer. I'm not 100% sure why this is, but in my head I've got a sort of mental block on this year while I get my head around a few things and get some things done that I will possibly never get the chance to do again. Made a pretty scary decision in light of this yesterday.... but not telling anyone what it is yet (I'm just that mysterious). Mainly, I'm trying to avoid the current graduate job battlefield for as long as possible. I had a look at what it was like just before I graduated and naively even sent of a few applications.. it's nasty out there! Makes me wish I had taken up a skilled subject at University rather than (more fool me) paying a ridiculous amount of money to study further something I actually enjoy. What a world we live in.

Just a thought

A task for my current job is to trawl through endless lists of Twitter weirdos to attempt to find the next bestselling authors who are apparently hiding away on the internet. Firstly, let me tell you this is not as easy as it sounds. The amount of people who claim to be a 'NY times best-seller', and have in fact written nothing more in their lives than a shopping list, is incredible. Even the ones who have written books sometimes need to be treated with care... there are some very strange people out there.

Mainly what annoys me, however, is the amount of people who claim to be an 'aspiring author', or 'dream of one day being a writer'. So do it then! Even when approached, by a publisher who has the authority to potentially publish your work, it is amazing how many of these people come up with every excuse under the sun as to why they can't actually live out these 'dreams'. What I'm saying is, if you want to tell the world that these are your dreams and aspirations, firstly... do something about it! No-one got to be a writer by simply wanting to be one. And this applies for a lot of things (it doesn't just stop at careers). Secondly, when life does happen to pop an opportunity in front of you, go for it! It is rare that things will happen to you in life without you putting yourself out there first, so if you are lucky enough to be given the chance to do something you want to do, what's holding you back?

Nice little ranty second ever blog post. But more trying to offer some food for thought. x